| Miami. |
[Nov. 29th, 2007|03:07 pm] |
I am almost done with my first semester in college. Soemtimes. I wish there were pause and rewind buttons in life. AS I am sure most people wish. Because there are so many different ways your life can just end up going. ITs really ridiculous. I don't know if everyone has the same contemplativeness amount in them. Or if your only contemplative when you feel lonely. or if thats just me or if i am like this all the time bc i can't remeber a time when i didn't feel like this. Always fucking looking in on somebody never being a part or a piece of anything.
I am a prett whiny baby I suppose. But I just can't seem to figure out what its healthy or appropriate.
I am having an axperienc ein Tallahassee. I am enjoying it here but I think I want to move to Miami soon. REally soon. I love it there and I love spanish people.
I watched cocaine cowboys last night and really want to be there. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 7th, 2007|12:22 am] |
fuck fuck fuckfuck
What do you see?
I see a little girl looking at me
Little girl littlegirl
what do you see?
I see my conscience staring at me
College is new. And I am not. But I feel like adaptation is occuring slowly. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 21st, 2007|09:36 pm] |
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jane and I dont know whats wrong with my lj. gay right. |
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| Directions to Steve's. |
[Jul. 10th, 2007|01:24 am] |
The first party I ever go to which is also the first day I was enrolled in college classes I go to a professor's party where everybody there is either 21 to 22 or 35 to 57.
It was pretty hilarious. I met a boy who was pretty cute. I liked him. He was in one of JAmes' writing classes. He seemed funny and intelligent. He told a cute anecdote about how a huge ass lady buss flew into his hair. It was a nice conversation starter.
New interaction is really strange when I'm in a new place. Cause either I'm really nervous and would have a hard time raising my voice above a whisper or I am relatively friendly and feeling relatively comfortable with my situation.
The host of the party did a reading at a bar called The WArehouse. They have them every Tuesday. Apparently thats where the English department hangs out. James and I went. THe bar tender there is crazy and make fun of everybody who gets anything from the bar. The main guy was reading some poetry about Casey Casums top 40 countdown.
I don't liked poetry that much but the guy Steve was entertaing enough but the girl before him sucked real bad. I kinda chuckled because she talked about writing in her online journal but then I was like, "Hey wait I have one too. I suck too." Which wasn't such a hilarious as it was a really dispicable thing to do. I'm a fucking hypocrite. but I feel okay about it for now. I'm still becoming a well rounded individual.
ONwards about the host. James and I watched him during the party and he would just set down next to any girl and just boast about everything he had ever done. He talked about how he requested, Bill CLinton, while in his precidency, to come visit his table at some fancy restaurant. He told me that he made more than 48 million dollars selling some lobbyist company. (check the spelling on lobbiest) He was really charming though. He asked me about what my major was going to be. I didn't feel like I had to pretend to be older than I was. No one was mad that a young girl was there. EVerybody there was relatively nice company. And he was nice that he seemes to care that I was there and took the time to ask me about myself and school and stuff. He also told me not to go to FSU for Nursing. He said UF was a better choice. Which is funny because Lisa also wants to go to Med school and maybe we can go UF together. I'm rambling............
There was some girl thoguh that chased around these really fancy looking sheep dogs. And she tried to make them go swimming with her and they relly didn't want and she chased the dog around a picnic table for quite some time. The dogs reminded me of France and of a JAnana baby. WHo probably thinks I'm really gay for writing all this.
But I had a really great day. ORientation went well. I got more things to put on my errand sheet. I so far have a phenomenal schedule and I am getting along really well with James and Hydee is going to summer camp.
I miss my friends so can you guys try to arrange trips to TAllahassee. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 7th, 2007|06:19 pm] |
So I have lived in Tallee for 4 days now. I like it thus far. We went to First Friday last night which is like a huge art show for FSU art students. It was fun. I could see that being my First Friday event every month. There was like a thrift store type thing there with cute old shit.
Glen left today. He'll be back though. I could tell. He was already planning on coming back in a couple weeks.
I don't know if anny kids I know are up here but I don't really care to know for right now. I am enjoying my alone time and not having to do anything other than my own stuff. I really wish I could figure out my transcript problem. Its really annoying at this point. And since I was so focused on my transcripts I forgot about my immunization form. I'll take care of all that Monday. I'm going to go job searching Monday and Wednesday. I still havent checked out the health food store i wanted to work at. I think I;d like the people there judging from the last time I was there.
I don''t smoke nearly as much as I did at home but thats probably because no one I hang out with smokes so I don;t want to be the only smelly one. James smokes but only in secret.
My bowl movements have been very regular since I got here. Normally I get stopped up for the first week. But I've basically had the shits for four days.
I miss Darein, Lisa and Jane. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 7th, 2007|12:14 am] |
I didnt think moving would be as sad feeling at first. I know it'll get better once I'm in tallee but this part sucks.
Tuesday.
I'm taking the train to miami tomorrow morning to eat lunch with my grandma. I'm pretty excited. I'm going to try to be out of the house by 10. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 6th, 2007|02:56 am] |
im sick from lack of activity.
I am setting up my schedule for fall. It's fun to think about what I'm going to do in between classes and what teachers I'm going to have and what babes I'm gonna get to see and meet.
I have orientation on the 10th at 9. I need to try to make next week and normal sleeping week. I'm sooo fucked up right now form not sleeping at night really. aLso my diet is all fucked up because I keep eating and then passing out and it makes me feel sick the next morning.
I was sitting on my front porch today and I was thinking about who I'm going to turn into and what I am going to do and its largely scary but at the same time I can't wait to find out adn work towards something other than my next mini vacation. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 25th, 2007|04:40 pm] |
I'm at Lisa's. She's in Jupiter. She left me early this afternoon.
I just woke up again. I'm leaving sooon though. I need to pack up my shit.
Party Friday. |
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| Grandma and DInner dates. |
[Jun. 23rd, 2007|09:55 pm] |
Geweze.
I'm pretty worn out and I've been on summer break. What the fuck?
I need to start excercising again. My arms are getting fatter and I'm very a lack of energy. I will not blame weed. I was running the most I ever had when I was smoking pot everyday. And now I'm just choosing to smoke pot everyday and not run. I'm a lazy fuck..
I can't wait to leave. I should be gone before July 4th. I'm pumped.
I'm going to miss my friends but I'm pretty caught up in the growing up aspect of leaving to be that upset. Sorry guys. I think you can sort of understand what I'm saying hopefully.
I went to my grandmas tongiht,. I never realized what a event that actually was once you turned old enough to not be sheltered according to them. Seriously, I miss being sheltered. I feel like a nervous wreck waiting for the next bizarre thing to come out of their fucking mouthss. I lvoe them all but for fucks sake. honestly. She thjought boob sweat was an appropriate dinner coversation. and then she kept on flirting with my sister boyfriend, my pregnant sister's boyfriend. While her (grandmas) current boyfriend was in the room and yeah if my grandma had gray hair and no real sex drive this would be acceptable but she has blond hair and fake tits and reminds of someone from an HBO porno.
Whatever I hope she never discovers livejournal cause she already has a myspace. Cause I htink she ouwld be really hurt or complimented, if she read this. I'm not quite sure which one.
Someone should read this cause its pretty funny. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 19th, 2007|11:48 pm] |
My life went weird.
I'm moving soon.
And I'm having a party.
My parents will be home most likely. BUT they said beer drinking is allowd but not drunk drinking. I only have like 3 friends on this livejournal thing but you are all invited.
Please don't bring people I don't know cause this is my going away party and I don't want to have to protect my shit.
It's going to be the 29th. And you can bring your bathing suit if you like for the pool or go on the canoe. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 28th, 2007|12:30 am] |
I slept all day today.
It felt great. Although it was not fun, it was exactly what I wanted to be doing.
I really don't want to be sad face anymore and I feel like depression is taking over my brain and I can't really function properly. I need to start changing some things and making better choices about my recreational life.
I want to go running and start being on a diet again for Mia's wedding.
I think I really need to start being productive.
One difference in this season of depression is it's length. I am beginning to fear that I won't be able to come out of it anytime soon and I feel like once I do I won't be healthy and thats frightening because I don't want to ruin my sober mind.
I'm sure everything is going to be fine I just really don't like the way I feel lately. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 21st, 2007|12:11 pm] |
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I meant July not June. I'm moving in July, |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 20th, 2007|11:51 pm] |
This is gay. And boring.
jk. jk. jk.
Prom was fine.
Claudia's was fun. I got drunk for 45 minutes and then smoked some pot and then stop drinking so I could drive the kids. Went to IHOP ate a shit ton of food. Made Lisa toilet paper elbow pillows so she wouldnt get any STDs from the IHOP toilet she decided to hug.
Claudia was sweet enough to give me a bowl to smoke once I got back to Janes since Jane doesn't think I can drive high which is a fine piece of false-ism.
Woke up feeling great. Ran some errands and shit. I need to start working more and playing less so I have money in Talleeeeee.
Moving in June fuck yesssss. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 13th, 2007|02:34 pm] |
oo I just love Jane and Lisa.
Yesterday was hilarious and I Still have a headache. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 12th, 2007|04:03 pm] |
My grandfather passed away on Thursday night a little bit before midnight, Friday.
I miss him but more than anything I hope my grandma is alright. She's talking about moving to Spain which would rule because then I would have someone to visit in Spain.
Boys are gay but some are hot.
I need to study but its hard to get motivated. I love my lil janey and laser. They have been totally sweet the past couple of days and they don't have to be if they don't want to be but they are being so I love them.
I bought my parents a spa package for mothers day. We got something for my dad too since his father passed away and hes had a rough couple of months with my little brother and my grandfather.
Mia and James have sucked the past couple of days which really bums me out since I'm going to live with James in less than 2 months.
I'm not excited about graduation just graduating. I wish I wasn't doing all those gay things you do when you're done with high school. They are gay and time consuming. fuckkeres,
I'm a lot less depressed than I have been. which is good but still what a shitty past 2 months. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 28th, 2007|04:06 pm] |
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shitty.weeek. I can't seem.to win. I'm not depressed but I feel terrible. tallahassee should be rad. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 13th, 2007|12:19 am] |
So I caught a boyfriend. The first one ever. It's kind of a big deal to me I suppose.
I didn't realize how scared I was of getting hurt or hurting somebody. Weird and Gross in my opinion.
I bet if JAne was gonna reply to this she would say I was gay. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 11th, 2007|03:48 am] |
I hate Lisa.
Why is she alive.
I can't believe you took advantage of my poor memory and posted some weird dykey shit on my shit. you suck.
I love you. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 10th, 2007|03:25 pm] |
I love
my cousin (primo)
grandpa (abuelo).
mom and dad (mis padres).
grandma (abuela).
brothers and sisters (mis hermanos).
friends (mis amigos).
Moving to Tallahassee. A place a can't even spell. in June.
All friends are welcome to visit anytime they can over the summer and you guys better come visit.
5k was cancelled because it costsss too much. But I may go Tallee this weekend instead. not sure yet.
Flaming Lips are playing for free in Gainesville. Love it.
Of Montreal is playing in Sarasota the 19th and their film is being shown. eff yeah. |
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irenabeana's journal